Poison of Vengeance
by InsaneDutchGirl
Summary: Vengeance is always a tricky thing. Especially if someone else will suffer in your place. Raph learns this the hard way, but can he stop a man driven by madness from breaking him?
1. Chapter 1

**I'm so incredibly productive today I thought it would be nice to start a new story I had in mind. My friend dared me to write a story completely evolving around vengeance so here's what I came up with. There will be a bad guy not mentioned in the actual series but he'll just be a foot ninja who has some issues. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. I just named the bad guy and came up with his story but that's it. **

**Chapter 1: Defenseless**

"_Mikey, Run!" I shout. The knucklehead doesn't listen and keeps fighting, keeping me safe in the process. Those Foot shot me with a dart and I can't friggin' move right now. Don and Leo are somewhere else. We kinda lost them in the fight. Mike's now the only one standing in between me and a sea of Foot but the dumbass ain't smart enough to just leave. Not that I wouldn't have done the same. _

_Eventually Mikey's hit with a dart too. I growl when the ninja step closer towards my baby brother but they only laugh. I get even more furious but because I can't move, there ain't much I can do for me or Mikey now._

_When they finally stand in front of both of us, two of them grab me by my arms and hold me up. I try to fight but my muscles just won't respond. They don't grab Mike however. Instead, they pounce on him, makin' me watch it. I growl again, I curse and I shout but they only beat harder on him when I do. _

_They quit after god knows how long. I'm sure Mike's out and I'm actually glad for that. He must've hurt. He must've felt helpless when he couldn't move while being kicked and punched within an inch of his life! At least he's know asleep. _

_They grab him by his arms and drag him away. I start cursing again, telling them to keep their dirty hands off of ma brother! But before I can say anything more, something hard slams on the top of my head and all I can see is darkness. _

I groan lowly. Worst nightmare ever, I think. I try and feel for a blanket because it's much colder than I thought it was before I went to sleep. When I let my hands reach around me, however, all I can come up with his a cold stone floor. Damn it! No dream.

I force my eyes open and see nothing but rock. I turn around and wince at the headache it causes. On the other side I can see bars which separate the room I'm in from some sort of hallway made out of stone. The other two walls in the crappy cell are made out of rough rock too. A light bulb dangles on the celling of the hallway but the light it gives off is only feint. I'll have to wait for my eyes to get used to the darkness I guess.

It doesn't take that long for them to do so and when I manage to sit up, the first thing I spot is another shell. I crawl over and see it's Mikey. He's lying face down which can't be that comfortable. I turn him around and flinch. His face is swollen and covered in black and blue bruises. His lip is split too. His arms and legs look a little better but still should be sore. His plastron took the brunt of most of the kicks aimed for his stomach though. I don't think that will be bothering him. I try to place Mike somewhat more comfortable but the movements wake him up.

"Hey buddy," I whisper when his eyes open. He smiles slightly at me and sits up. He gasps however and holds his head with both of his hands. I can only imagine the head rush he must be having right now. He didn't only get knocked out but he also got beaten up.

I tug his arm and move him a little bit backward so we're both sitting against the back of our cell. I try to shelter his face from the small light in the hallway so it won't make his headache worse.

"You doin' okay, Mike?" I ask him, although I know he can't really feel at his best right now.

"Yeah it's passing," my little brother mutters but he keeps wincing every now and then. He smiles at me though. "You remember what whacko we got caught by this time?" He asks me.

"'s the Foot," I tell him. "Can't you remember? They beat the snot outta ya." For a small moment I feel worried. What if he's got a concussion or somethin'? According to Donnie you could fall into a coma if you have that. And this isn't the time to be dealing with comas, right now. We need to get out.

"Oh, yeah. I remember," Mike mutters to my relief. "Wow, that's why my face hurts so much then."

Even in the dim light I can see where Mikey's face is blue instead of green and I guess he can just count his lucky stars that he can still see with both of his eyes. It still worries me though. Why did they only beat him up? Why not me?

Suddenly I feel a body resting against mine. "It's cold in here, Raph."

I lean closer to Mikey and wrap an arm around his slightly shaking shoulders. "I know kid. Let's just try to sleep some more because I think it's still night. Feels like it though. After sleeping, we can do a jailbreak and get back home where it's warm."

Mikey chuckles slightly and settles against my side, head on my shoulder. "Sure thing. Hope Leo and Donnie will help us out a little though."

I nod and lay my head on top of his. Leo and Donnie. They better be okay or I'll kill them personally. But still, I kinda hope they're here with us. Bein' alone and captured, it's hell. For me it has always been the more, the better because escaping plans are easier with more. Also, the ones not captured wouldn't have a single clue where the captured ones where. That always went wrong.

I slip into a slightly more comfortable position and notice Mike's already back asleep again. I'm not going to sleep however. I need to watch over him. At least until we're out of here.

**So here it starts. A nice old kidnap fic with some brotherly fluff (cuss who doesn't love that?) and some brutal torture (cuss that will lead to more brotherly fluff, eventually). I'll introduce you to my bad guy in the next chapter, after you told me if you hated this or loved this or want to kill me for this. So I'll just wait for that. And yeah Athese, you inspired me some :p See ya**


	2. Chapter 2

**Apparently people are reading this thing so I consider that as a reason to update the second chapter. Thanks for everyone who follows and fovourited this story and a special thanks for everyone who took the time to review!**

**Chapter 2: current**

I think it has only been half an hour of sleep for Mikey when those GI Joes figures decide to wake him up. They're only with two and kind of noisy so no ninjas or anything. I glance towards my little brother who's slowly sitting up. He looks a bit dizzy but otherwise okay. I think he can handle one of those guys, even after being beaten up, for long enough for me to knock them both out. Could work with a some precision.

I lock eyes with Mike and give him a slight nod. His eyes change slightly, determination and a spark of joy filling them up. Leave it to him to have some fun when doing a jailbreak. He gives me a nod in return and stands up. I do the same and take a stance in front of him. If they planned some trick, they'll have to use it on me first. No way they're gonna hurt him any more.

The door of our cell is opened and both of the guys step inside. I glare at them but they don't seem to mind at all. They look kinda confident for two dudes without weapons. Sure, me and Mike don't have any either but they must know we can fight. You would expect them to have some kind of gear with them at the very least.

"You," they point at Mikey. "Come here."

In the corner of my eye I can see Mikey taking a step forwards but I immediately push him back.

"He ain't goin' anywhere," I say lowly, trying not to rip one of their heads off right now. I turn around to glare at Mike too. "You ain't goin' anywhere, understand?"

He nods his head but doesn't meet my eyes. What's wrong with him now? He really wanted to go along with those guys? But before I can do anything else a thousand needles pierce my veins from the inside out. The current of electricity keeps flowing for only a few seconds but leaves both me and Mikey panting on the floor, completely immobile. I stare at the ground and can just see the rubber soles of the bastards when they walk past. Smart move, I think sourly.

They grab Mike's arms and drag him away. I want to move although every muscle in my body tells me not too. But after a quick glance of my little brother's fearful blue eyes, I try and get up anyways. It works somewhat. My arms work and don't hurt that much. But when I stand up, my legs seem to be the problem as they give out. I try to do something, anything, but probably only look like some pathetic animal to them.

They take Mikey and leave me alone in the cell. Nothing I can do.

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It takes me an awful long time to get the feeling back into my legs. Stupid electricity. That's why the floor is so damp here. There must be… I feel along the dirt and notice a cable running through the cage. There are more and they're stuck to the ground; covered with wet dirt. Damn it.

While I try to come up with an idea to get the cables out or malfunctioning, I hear something coming from the hallway again. The GI Joes figures come back and open up the door again. I'm not interested in breaking out though, because of the convulsing figure they hold in their arms. They drop Mikey to the ground and quickly shut the door again; walking away. I don't notice it.

I hold my baby brother close and try to see what is wrong with him. His body is spasming wildly and his breaths are ragged. I push him back against the wall in a sitting position and hold him by both of his shoulders.

"Calm breaths kid. Just do it like me alright," I tell him. I try to take normal breaths but it isn't that easy as my heart is racing. What did they do to him?

Mike tries to mimic my breathing and after a while it works. He still has tremors now and then but his shaking has decreased. After another few gulps of air he smiles up at me, silently thanking me. I don't smile back though and quickly take a look over the rest of his body. He's got some burn marks but other than that he looks fine to me. That doesn't explain the spasming and breathing issues though.

I go and sit next to Mikey, wrapping an arm around his shoulders again. He must be exhausted. "What happened in there Mikey? Who did it and why?"

It takes the kid a long time to answer me but when he does, he starts shaking again.

"I don't know Raph," he whispers. "I don't know who he is. They brought me to some kind of room. It was all black in there and when the lights were out, I couldn't see a thing. But they were on in the beginning. This dude came up to me and told me it was all my older brother's fault I was there. He didn't say anything more and turned around again. That's when those soldier-guys started to put on those white pads on my arms, chest and legs. I remembered seeing them on tv."

I know exactly where this is going. We've all seen those cheesy horror flicks Mikey loves to watch. And after everything that happened just a few hours ago, when they tried to steal Mike away from me, I'm sure I know what my youngest brother just went through.

"They used it for so long," Mikey says suddenly, and I grip him tighter. He doesn't need to go on. "And then they turned off the lights and I just lay there screaming my head off in the pitch black. I only saw sparks flying around now and then. They did it for so long."

I sigh and start rubbing his arm a bit. A little rough apparently because he hisses slightly because of the bruises. I stop after the sound and decide to ask him the one question which bothered me all those hours my brother has been electrocuted.

"You knew about the cables, didn't you? That's why you were so willingly to go with them."

He slowly nods and looks at me with guilt swimming in his eyes. The nod only calms me down though. It means my little brother hasn't given up this easily yet.

"I didn't really know there were cables, but I saw the remote in one of those guys' hand. I didn't want you to get hurt by whatever he wanted to do."

I almost punch myself at not having seen anything. I searched them for weapons but didn't look for anything as small as a remote. It seemed harmless at the time. Of course Mikey would never see it like that though. Whatever Mike doesn't know, he's afraid of. He's been like that since he was very young.

Another tremor vibrates through his body. I squeeze his arm with my one hand while the other gently pulls my baby brother closer to my body, letting him lean against me. "Go to sleep kid," I say. "God knows you need it. I'm here."

Only after adding that last sentence, does Mikey actually close his eyes. He snuggles a little up to me but I don't mind. As long as he's comfortable it doesn't matter.

I stare through the bars that keep us in, down the hallway. I'll see it when they come in again. And when they do, they'll have something coming for them. Someone angry, fierce and not afraid if he has to kill to protect the ones that matter.

**So that was it. What do you guys think? Make it more evil or do more brotherly fluff cuss I'm not sure? Maybe I'll just do both. At least leave a review because they fuel my imagination and I need that. See ya**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here is another quick chapter before going to my niece's birthday party. Nothing better to start the day than with brutal torture right?**

**Chapter 3: Demolishing **

I curse loudly when my left leg starts to twitch again. Those guys came back for Mikey and of course I didn't step out of the way. Suckers electrocuted us again and they took Mike. Why can't they start torturing me already! The kid's had enough. He has been spasming the whole time when he was asleep and woke up screaming because of a nightmare. I couldn't even take hold of him well because of his bruises and burns. He started trashing when I tried to wake him up and even kicked me in my chest.

He can't handle torture. His dreams will drive him crazy and being awake will only make him more afraid. I just hope, and god forbid it will ever come to this, that he will die before he breaks. He will be better off dead than broken, I know that. What I don't know is why they do this to him. What the hell did Mike do that he deserves this. The kid never even killed anyone before. Not like me.

And I don't get the 'it's your older brother's fault' thing. What the hell?! Which older brother anyway. I guess it could be me but I still don't get it. I tried to protect him, didn't I? If that bastard would just show his ugly face in front of me instead of cowering away and letting my little brother taking the brunt of his psychotic actions.

I'm so drowned in my own moody thoughts I don't notice the hallway door being opened. I'm ready however, when they shove Mike inside our cell. I catch him before he makes a nosedive into the floor. I'm glad he isn't spasming all over this time. Still, they must've hurt him some way. I just don't know what it is yet.

"Mike. You alright, buddy?" I ask him softly. The door of the hallway is closed with a loud clang which makes Mikey stir a little. It's a good thing he's awake but he immediately starts gasping, tears brimming his eyes. A sort of strangled sound escapes his mouth so I try to put him down as carefully as I can. I've made his wounds, unintentionally, hurt worse before and I don't want to do that again.

"C'mon I need ya to talk ta me lil' brother."

Another gasp and this time some tears flood over. I try to check him over but it's kinda dark. I decide to move him closer to the hallway because of the lightbulb hanging there. With every move I make, Mikey whimpers louder but he doesn't scream. I'm glad for that. No need to alert those wackos of how much damage they actually caused.

When I place him on the ground again, I take a step back. I try not to hurl at the awful sight of his green skin lighted up by the lamp. Some parts of his legs and arms are just… _eaten_ away it seems. Blood is pouring out of the wounds and they seem a little orange/yellowish. What did those freaks do?

In total there are 9 wounds. Four on his left leg, one on his right and two on both of his arms. They are all kind of sizzling it seems. I want to curse and scream and smash their heads in but there is nowhere I can go. The only thing I can do now is comfort Mikey and that is one thing I'm just no good at.

"What do you think, creature," I suddenly hear behind me. I turn around and stare into a dark face. The man isn't that long and looks Italian to me (A/N I do not want to offend any Italians but I just wanted this guy to be Italian). His black hair is gelled and his is wearing some black jeans and a black t-shirt with a v-line. The way he sneaked up upon us tells me he is a better ninja than those minions of his. On the other hand, I was kinda bussy ten seconds ago so that's probably why I didn't see him coming.

"What did you do to my brother?" I hiss lowly, not giving him the satisfaction to see how angry I really am. The smart-ass is smirking at me which only adds fuel to the fire. He's so dead when I'm through with him. If he only would be man enough to fight me.

"Did some experimenting with acid, my friend," he replies smugly. "It does the trick well I think. But don't you worry. It's washable with water."

He throws me two bottles. They fall to the ground and roll towards my feet. I don't pick them up yet. I need answers first.

"Why are you doin' this freak?" I growl in the same low tone as I did before. It doesn't sound calm or managed by far which makes the guy only smile broader. He's enjoying this game.

"Would you really talk with me right now while you have a brother suffering at your feet? You are more of a monster than I originally thought."

I slowly pick up the water bottles and move towards Mikey. I don't trust this at all. He has a point though, Mike's suffering badly. But there is just something off with this. I unscrew the bottle and see the Italian freak inch closer slightly. What does he wanna see so badly?

I take the bottle and move it towards Mikey's left leg. It's the worst. But just before I pour the contents of it over the wounds, I let a few drops spill over my wrist. I cry out as the acid starts eating away on my flesh. It burns like hell and I feel warm liquid pouring down my arm.

I growl towards the laughing man. "You're smarter than you look I must give you that much," he snickers before stalking off.

I take a glance towards Mikey's shaking form and pick up the other bottle. It can't be he just let us here to die. The other bottle must contain water. I throw a little over the wound on my wrist and feel the bliss that comes with the cool water. The acid immediately stops working and some of the blood washes off too. I don't use too much though because Mikey is having a harder time than I have.

After cleaning all of his wounds thoroughly I sit him up against the back of the wall again. He isn't whimpering anymore but he's kinda out of it. I give him the last drops of water to drink and let him lean against me again. He doesn't go to sleep but he doesn't say anything either.

I enjoy the silence for a bit, holding my brother to offer him some comfort which I know isn't enough. He must be terrified and hurt. There's just nothing I can do for him and that makes me feel useless. I can't protect him if they keep separating us like this.

And what's worse, they wanted _me_ to hurt him. If I had used that bottle without a second of doubt, Mike would have been hurt by his older brother. And slowly but surely I start to have the feeling that this isn't about taking revenge on Mikey at all. It's his older brother's fault after all.

**So I hope you like my badguy a bit. No worries, we'll find out about him more in other chapters. Maybe he even gets a name 0.o See ya all soon and don't forget to review. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the reviews, guys. You are amazing! You can al give yourself a pat on the back. **

**Now came my mysterious guest-reviewer with the question: what about Leo and Donnie? And when she asked that I was like 'damn it! I totally forgot those guys!' So yeah, what about Don and Leo. I'm not sure yet but I guess I can give them some appearances during this fic. I need them in the end at least. But I'll see how it goes and maybe I can come up with something for them. **

**Anyways, have fun with this new chapter full of chaos and some mental torture. **

**Chapter 4: the stain**

We've been sitting in this cell for days now. Sometimes they come and get Mikey to beat him up some, but nothing as serious as the acid and the electricity. They'll drag him into the hallway and punch and kick him till he's unconscious. He's tried to fight back multiple times but with two or three against one, he's always overpowered. Especially because they electrocute us before taking my baby bro.

They always have me watching it and I always pay close attention. Not that I like seeing my brother that way, it's even the opposite. However, if I know where they hurt him the most, I can calm him down better when he wakes up, screaming from a nightmare. Because that is what happens whenever he falls unconscious when being tortured. He only sleeps soundly when being pressed against my side. Like he is now.

"Raphie?"

I turn my head downwards and see two foggy blue eyes staring up at me. His voice is a little croaky and sounds dry. We haven't been given anything to eat or drink other than a bottle of water every morning. It's never enough but when I try to give Mike some of my share, he always declines. I know he needs it though because of all the blood he's losing. He lost a fair amount because of the acid torture and now always loses some when being beaten on. He's getting paler by the day.

I feel how Mike sits up next to me, making soft sounds of pain when moving his body. The wounds of the acid are still bothering him and every now and then he'll start twitching again which makes his sore muscles from the beatings extra painful. I'm still worried about the amount of electricity his body might be able to take though. They keep sending currents through us whenever they want to beat the senses out of him. Not to mention the hours of electricity he had to endure a few days ago.

The sound of the metal door at the end of the hallway opening, vibrates through our cell. I hear soft whimpers coming from my younger brother and I give him a soft squeeze. They already bashed on him today but you never know with these guys. What I do know is that Mike's terrified every single time he thinks he hears something. The fear is just too much for him. He's brave when they take him out and hit the shit out of him. He never even makes a sound. No it's not the pain, just the fear. Yesterday he told me that he the thing he was the most afraid of, wasn't even them killing him, but being here on his own. That they would kill _me_ or that I would just leave him one way or another. The numbskull. I could never leave him. I could never betray him. We do this together or we might as well just die right here, right now.

Another clash and the Italian dude is standing in front of us. His head is in front of the lightbulb which casts us a little bit more in the dark. I can't see his face because of that but I know he's smirking down on us. Thinks he's all high and mighty. If he would just come in this damn cell and face us, he would see who's king down here.

I stand up, not wanting to show any weaknesses, prisoner or not. Mike immediately follows my example albeit with shaky legs. I can't blame the kid. They twisted his knee the other day. And made him cough up blood by kicking him right in his throat. It took him hours just to stop hacking. That was a bad day. We didn't even get water then and his teeth and lips were red for the whole night.

"How nice to see you again, my dear animals," the creep spoke up. "Everything's going well I assume?"

I growl but he doesn't even look into my direction. His face is completely drawn towards the battered body of my youngest brother. The joy the damage is causing him, makes me only more angry. I step in front of Mikey and fall into a fighting stance. Let him try and hurt my brother again. I ain't stopping yet.

"Now if you would just be so friendly, Red, to step aside so I can feed you both. According to my minions, it's important to feed your animals."

I don't make a move and keep shooting daggers at the man. How dare he call us beasts. We've always considered ourselves human and whenever someone doesn't treat us like that, I see red.

"Do we really have to do it this way?" The man tsk-ed and flips a remote in between his fingers. Before either Mike or I can say something, we're lying on the floor again, a current of white hot fire flowing through us. It isn't as strong as the Joes, as Mikey came to call them, used though.

When the current is off the guy comes inside the cell and immediately moves over towards Mike. A knife is pulled out of his shirt and the blade is pressed against my little brother's throat. I can see the bruises of when they stamped on him there, still clearly against his green skin. His eyes look at me, fear clearly readable and tears slowly forming. He's never been in such a position before. None of us have. Sweat drizzles down my face. One move and it is over for him.

"Don't," I say, before even being able to think of it. "Don't you dare."

The man's smile comes back, his white teeth glistering in the pale light from the hallway. "Oh dear turtle, I won't. At least not if you do as I tell you to."

I don't say anything. There isn't anything for me to say other than some very colourful words. I won't however, endanger Mikey by doing something as stupid as that.

"Now come forward," the black-haired man says. "And take this knife."

Another knife is thrown at the dirt floor. It's a fairly small one, unlike the blade pressed against my baby brother's neck. To advance in an attack now, would be a very stupid move. No way I can protect Mike, or even myself, with this.

"Mark your brother."

WHAT? Mark my… Yeah right. Is this dude totally insane. I would never use a knife on my brother. Never.

Another growl ripples from my throat and I have the urge to lunge at the man. His blade, however, presses so close into Mikey's skin, that droplets of blood start to form.

"Do it," his voice is full of poison, the sound harsh. "Do it or he dies."

I don't make a move and keep glaring at the man in front of me. I'm not doing this. No way I'm doing something like this. You don't use weapons against your family, period. You don't harm your family, period. At least, not on purpose.

The cold look in the guy's eyes, turns even darker and before I even know it, the knife is buried deeply into Mike's shoulder. A scream tears from him and the water that has been building up in the corners of his eyes, is now slowly falling.

My mouth falls open and all I can see is the crimson dark red blood flowing down his right arm, willing it to flow back into his body. But this isn't the end yet. The knife is being twisted, causing more blood to flow and forcing small, croaked, screams coming from my brother.

"Stop!" I shout but I don't dare to come anywhere near. I don't want him to hurt Mikey more. Or worse, that he'll kill him.

"I'll stop if you cut him," is the only reply. The voice is without compassion, without feeling. There is nothing but joy in there, like a little kid getting his Christmas-present. It makes me feel sick.

I quickly grab the knife though and move forward. I can't let Mikey suffer. Not anymore. But can I do this? Can I mark him with my own hand?

"That's it," the dead voice says. "On his cheek, right there."

I slide to my knees so I'm on the same eye-level as Mikey is. The knife stops twisting and now there are no screams, I can hear the gasping breaths coming from my youngest brother. I take his face in one of my hands and rub my hand across his cheek. He looks up at me and despite everything, he smiles and gives me a nod.

"Do it," is the quiet whisper, which I can hardly hear. "Please."

With that last plead, I know I'm doing the right thing. As much as it may hurt me physically and mentally to harm my own brother, I know this is right.

I grab his face a little firmer so he can't move and make things worse. I try to put all the comfort and warmth in my grip I can muster and slash a shallow cut down his cheek.

He doesn't even wince at the contact and lets out a breath of relief when the other knife is pulled out of his shoulder. I cradle him close and drop the knife I held in my hand immediately. I can't hear our tormentor leaving, I can't hear the soft cries of Mikey when I put pressure on his two wounds, although the one on his cheek is hardly bleeding. I can't hear anything because of the blinding pain ripping my brain apart. _I've hurt my brother. I marked him, I cut him and I let him down. I hurt my youngest brother. The one who I swore I would protect._

I also can't hear the 'well done' coming from the devil outside or cage. I don't even notice the five water bottles, piece of cloth, disinfectant, and most importantly, the food that is shoved through the bars. The only thing that exists for me now, is the monster I fear I've become.

**So that was… not what I expected at all. Do I have a sick mind? After writing this I think I do. Time for a mental hospital maybe. Oh well, send me a review before I go okay?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay so a very quick update on a lot of chapters before I go back studying till I fall asleep. I'll try to have two chapters done of Poison of Vengeance because of the long wait but at least this is the first. **

**To cup-mikey-gertha: this isn't the chapter you've been hoping for sorry. But the next one will so be patient ;)**

Chapter 5: paralized

It's been a full week already. A week of Donatello working himself to death. A week of Leonardo trying to hold on. A week of me not having seen my youngest and second-eldest sons. I worry for every single one of them and try to reach my lost sons as well as my ill one by meditation.

Leonardo has not reacted to anything I tried and according to Donatello this is caused by the mysterious coma he is in. He hasn't responded to physical touches and his reflexes are off as well. My genius son has told me that the only reason his older brother is still alive is because of the machines and our constant care. But despite that Leonardo is sinking into a deeper sleep every day and his brother worries he might not wake up if he does not come up with a cure anytime soon.

He is working on this medicine day and night and when he does not do that or takes care of Leonardo, he works on his computer to find his missing brothers. I try to help my son out in every way I can but my knowledge is not sufficient enough. It hurts me to know that I cannot assist my sons now that they need me more than ever.

It hurts Donatello also that he cannot lay down his work and go find Michelangelo and Raphael. We know they must be in trouble or they would have made it home already. We both know that. I have been topside every night, trying to look for any clue that could help me to find my boys. I have found nothing and now Donatello is working on his computer to hack into the databases of our enemies. The last place we know we could look.

I am here know with Leonardo, making sure the monitors around him do not change and keeping replacing backs with fluids and nutrients when they are empty. I dip some water on his cracked lips to keep them hydrated and sigh. Two days ago there was a slight movement coming from Leonardo when he felt the cold water touch his face. Today there is again nothing. Not even the slightest twitch.

When I have made sure that my eldest son is alright, I leave the infirmary to see how much progress Donatello has made. The teen is sleeping on his desk, head on his curled up arms. I smile despite myself and cover my child with a blanket. There is a deep frown on my son's tired face and another sigh escapes my lips.

Two sons are nowhere to be found and I do not know their current state of health or if they are even still alive. Another one has been in a mysterious coma for a week and might as well be dead. My last child is working himself to exhaustion to try and help his brothers in need, not knowing if he can even manage such a thing. And me, their father, the one who should take care of them, is utterly powerless to do anything than help.

"Please Raphael, Michelangelo. Be alright"

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I think the bleeding has finally stopped. Mikey is lying on the cold, wet floor, being reduced to a whimpering mess. His face is dangerously pale and his breaths are uneven. I carefully bring my hands from the wound which causes another hiss from my baby brother. I few droplets of blood still come out of the wound but it's much less than before.

I grab the disinfectant and the piece of cloth lying next to it. I find a needle and thread attached to the bottle of alcohol and wince. He was prepared. He knew what he was going to do. He knew I wasn't going to give in this easily.

"Hey Mikey," I speak up, placing a hand on my brother's sweaty forehead. He nods in acknowledgement but doesn't say anything. His eyes are full of tears and his whole expression tells me how much pain he is in right know.

"I'm gonna use a needle and thread alright? I know it ain't gonna be comfortable but it has to be done."

Another nod and a slight smile. "Glad you do it. Then at least I'll have a wicked scar."

I know he tries to relieve the tension but it isn't really working for me. God, how I wish Donnie was here right now. I ain't no doctor and for good reasons too. But I don't have a choice because Mikey's bleeding out on me. And things will only get worse if he gets an infection on top of everything.

I slide behind my younger brother and sit him up against me. I ignore the small whimpers of pain and set to work with a shaky hand. Every time the thread slices through his skin, Mike shivers and I need to stop so the wound will close nicely. When I'm done and rub the alcohol onto the newly stitched wound, I'm kinda proud of my handy-work.

After wrapping my brother's shoulder up I sit him up against the wall at the back of our cell. I don't want him anywhere near the bars. I stand up and that's when Mikey lifts his head up to look at me. My eyes start burning but it's nowhere as bad as my chest. Painful heartthrobs pound against my ribs and release the dread inside my head.

The cut. The mark. It isn't deep but I wonder if it will completely heal. There will always be a scar to remind me of what I did to him. What I should have prevented if I was just strong enough, or clever enough. If I just had been a good brother.

Apparently Mikey notices something because he turns his head away and picks up the bottle of alcohol. He rubs some on the cut on his cheek and then throws the thing to the far corner of our cell. It only makes me more sick to know that I couldn't even take care of the cut. I did it to him and can't even face the consequences.

I walk away to fetch or food and water. I give some to my younger brother but see him already dousing off.

"Hey, hey. Don't go to sleep yet," I say as gently as I can and tap his cheek. He blinks a few times and looks at me as if I've grown another head. "You need to eat first."

He mumbles something I probably don't want to hear anyway and closes his eyes again. I rouse him again though and manage to get him to eat some of the bread and to take a few sips of water. I know he can't have a lot right away or he'll throw up, so when I'm content he's had enough I lay him down on my lap. Careful so he's not lying on his right shoulder, I let him sleep. I pat right cheek a few times, not letting my fingers even getting near the other one.

I can't stand what I've done there. I can't stand it. I don't care Mikey asked me to do it, that it was to help him out of even more misery. I did it voluntarily and no way I can ever repay that to my youngest brother. The only thing I can do is to bring him to his two other brothers and his father. Keeping him safe from me.

**Poor guys. And there you go! The reason why Leo and Don aren't there yet. I already put two turtles in a lot of danger and misery so I thought why don't give the rest of the family something to deal with as well. Maybe I should kill one of the brothers. Maybe… Muhahahaha .**


	6. Chapter 6

**I've done so much thinking over this chapter. It's difficult not to make everything to heavy all at once and still live up to all of your expectations. I think I've got it now though so please like it!**

**Chapter 6: deception**

It's been three days since I've cut Mikey and let him down. Not that I got much time dwelling on that fact. They did something. I don't know what but it must be bad. At first I thought it was the pain of his shoulder wound as it was a nasty one and I had to pour alcohol onto it, for god's sake. But the thing is, the stitches are doing fine and the wound is healing well. So after the second day I knew there was something different going on.

A yell. I scramble over to my baby brother's body and brace myself for another few hours of trying to calm him while he's trashing and screaming in pain. It happened only hours after I had taken care of the wound a couple of days ago and repeats itself constantly. Sometimes it seems there are mere minutes between the attacks and Mike would hardly have a breather to compose himself. Other times he has some hours of rest which he describes as feeling numb. The problem is that we never know when the next attack is coming up and that scares the both of us.

I sit next to Mikey and take him in my arms. The physical contact makes him relax slightly as he prepares himself for what's coming. I recognize all of the symptoms he's displaying. First he'll feel a burning pain which always makes him yelp because of the sudden intensity. That's how I know. After that he'll start sweating and his face will scrunch up. We don't know how long that'll last as its always different. But when the burning feeling disappears, the screams will tear my little bro apart. I hate it.

I wipe away on my brother's forehead and feel how he's burning up. Sweat drizzles down and I try to keep it from entering his eyes. His breathing is controlled and his posture somewhat relaxed. He tries to stay brave but I can see the fear gleaming in those blue orbs of his. They've always been as easy to read as an open book. Nothing, absolutely nothing, he can hide from us because of those eyes.

And then the first howl of pain echoes through the cell. I keep wincing after every sound he makes, knowing there's nothing I can do but to comfort him a little. More screams are forced from my little brother's throat and his complete body starts convulsing, trying to get rid of the immense pain burning its way through my baby brother. I hold him close and steady so he won't hurt himself. The first time this happened I tried to speak to Mikey but he never hears anything I say. After having done this so many times already, I know the best way to help him is to keep him from hurting more and wait till it passes. As for myself, I just try to block out any sound and any feeling that enters my mind. Not that it helps the stabbing pain inside my chest but at least it helps me maintaining a level head. That's something we both rely heavily upon.

After only God knows how long, Mikey's breaths become more regular and his screams come further apart. His skin is still pale but regains some colour and his arms and legs stop shaking. There's always this small smile directed my way, telling me he's feeling better and saying sorry. It hurts me when he does that because I don't deserve a smile or an apology. But don't tell Mike to stop. I wish he would hurt me more, that he would shout at me or kick me. He never does however. He suffers and therefore makes me suffer. And there's nothing I can do about it.

"I must say, this spectacle is even more enjoyable live then it is on my screens."

I growl lowly, an automatic response to the guy's voice. I heard him coming in some time ago but that doesn't really bother me anymore. I don't know who he is, but he's the type of guy who'll always get what he wants; one way or another. And if I cooperate, Mike will get less hurt. I owe him that much so remain passive.

"Come on, Red; now stop being such a grouchy turtle. There's no need to be angry with me. I've the solvation of your problem after all."

That got my attention so I turn around slowly to face him, keeping Mikey safely secured in my arms. He is awake but scared. Of course he is. Every time someone came down to this place, things never ended well for him. And never could I protect him from what he had to face.

"Nice to see your eyes for a change."

The grin on his face makes his teeth glint in the small light in the hall. I hate that overly-confident look of his and want to beat it out of him. I know I can't however. Mikey's here. This isn't a case of having nothing to lose. And the point is, I can't lose because when I do I'll shatter. There won't be a reset and there won't be another time of playing the game.

Something is thrown to the ground which lures me out of my train of thoughts. I sit Mikey up against the wall carefully but he whimpers slightly at not having me next to him. I ain't risking anything though. I slowly creep closer to the object on our cell-floor and see a filled up syringe. When I pick it up our captor starts talking again.

"This is the antidote to what I poisoned your brother with three days ago. I'm sure you've noticed something odd, now didn't you?"

I don't say anything and let my glare speak for me. The bastard poisoned him. Sure I knew something was going on, but poison? How did he administer it? I ate and drank everything Mikey did just to make sure everything was safe. So just how did he do it?

Well, no time to think about that. Mikey needs the antidote and I'm out of luck. Maybe this is the same trick as with the water bottle but I can't risk injecting myself first. And my brother is suffering so badly already, that I can hardly make it worse. Right?

But before I take the syringe and walk up to the slumped figure against the wall, the rules of the game change again.

"Before I forget. The antidote works the best when the subject has low brain activity."

I want to put up a fight for calling my brother a 'subject' but hold myself back. I know he wants me pissed off. I don't get what he's playing around with but some of his intentions are clear to me. And one of them is ticking me of and having Mikey suffer for my loss of self-control. And that ain't happening again.

"What do ya mean, asshole?" I growl lowly, not taking another glance at the man.

"I mean that only if your brother is asleep, the antidote in the syringe will work. Too bad I don't have anything to knock him out with so you'll have to do it."

He winks at me before walking off. I hardly notice it though as my mind is running. The words he speaks before disappearing completely have my attention though.

"The blade you cut your brother with was coated in the poison. Thought you'd want to know that."

With a maniacal cackle he leaves us alone, slamming the door at the end of the hallway. I know he's still watching us though. He mentioned he'd seen it every time Mikey had an attack. There must be cameras or something like that.

After what he's told me, I actually just want to sit down and cry. Nothing I do is good enough. I keep hurting my brother in every possible way and there's nothing to do against it. But Mike hasn't blamed me yet. He's the one important right now. When he's safe, I'll pay for everything I've done to him.

I turn around, fingering the syringe in my hand, while walking over to my brother. Often he smiles at me. Even here he still manages to keep the mood light and to not show any other emotion then how he trusts me and has faith. But this time he looks rather serious. The determination in his eyes actually makes me flinch slightly.

"Do it, Raph. Just a blow to the head. I know you can do that."

I shake my head before his words actually register. I'm not hurting him anymore, no way. I promised him, I promised myself that we would get out of here without a scratch and I already broke that one. The scratch was even made by my own hand. I'm not doing such a thing again. There must be another way.

Suddenly a smile breaks on my face. Mike looks at me as if I finally lost it but also with a touch of fear. He really wants me to knock him out and use that syringe on him. He's scared for the next attack. Also he's afraid that I'll go insane before him and he'll be alone. Well, no way. Because I'm not going to hurt my younger brother. Because for once in my life, I use my brain before brawn.

I slide in front of Mikey and softly trail my fingers over his neck and shoulders. I see the soft glint in his eye when he notices what I intend to do. The smile on his face evens mine and he gives me a quick thumbs up.

"But don't hit my head to hard again, Raphie-boy," he says in the cheeriest voice I've heard in over a week. "The first time you did this you gave me a bruise the size of an orange."

I snicker and mutter 'baby' under my breath. I let my hand slide down till I grab my youngest brother's wrist in a firm grip. I feel the energy flow beneath my thumb and cut it off. I jab him shortly in the crook of his elbow and quickly tap his temple with my flat palm. I'm on time to catch my brother when he collapses. While emptying the syringe into my brother's bloodstream, I thank Master Splinter for teaching us pressure points. He didn't teach me too many of them, especially not the deadly ones, as I was too impatient. I also thought that during a fight they were rather useless as no opponent would allow you to come this close. And if they were stupid enough to do that, why not knock them around with a fist and a kick. When we get home though, and I say when and not if like Mikey told me to do, I'll learn every single pressure point known to mankind.

"Not what I wanted, reptile," an eerie voice fills the cell. "He'll pay for that."

**And that's it! The pressure point described is real and effective. A friend of mine showed me as she's a martial artist and owns her own dojo. Too bad I don't see her that often but I remembered the pressure point. Anyways I hope you all liked it and see ya soon! In the meanwhile, enjoy this wonderful cliffy :p**


	7. Chapter 7

**So before any of you is going to read this story, please search through your room and remove anything you could use as a possible weapon and place it in a very strong safe and throw away the key into a fire or a tank full of very carnivorous fish. Thank you very much, I feel much safer now.**

**Have fun reading this! Or not…**

**Chapter 7: suffocation **

He electrified us again and put us into this weird ballroom kinda thing. It's large and high with these insanely long windows which are all covered up by something black. There isn't much here except for a small sort of cage of which the walls are made completely out of some sort of transparent plexiglass. Inside it they had strapped Mikey down to a table. He isn't awake yet and I'm glad for that. He would be down-right terrified if he knew what that crazy dude said just after I knocked him out. Damn it, it's just like how I feel now.

I don't know what to do. I keep hurting my baby brother and still he wants to stay close to me. That open trust of his makes everything even hurt more and it makes me so angry I want to hit him. But at the same time I want to hug him close and promise him no one will ever get his hands on him ever again. If I just wouldn't be such a weak coward and actually come up with a solution for us so we can get out of this hell house and back to our family. I wonder where they are.

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"Master Splinter! Get me the incubator, fast!"

I move my hands onto my older brother's plastron and push down on it. I silently count along in my head while I can hear quick but quiet footsteps coming closer. I bend over and hold my ear close to Leo's mouth, listening for a breath, trying to feel it against my cheek. Nothing. He has stopped breathing.

There have been seizures more times I can count the last few days, or where it mere hours? However, I knew there was something going awfully wrong and I was too slow to come up with a cure. Now my brother has stopped breathing and it took me a full minute to even come in action! Or where it mere seconds? It doesn't change that my brother could have been very dead because of my incompetence. He can still die, even now. He hasn't improved a bit and actually has steadily grown worse. Now he can't even breathe for himself anymore.

I pound on my brother's chest again when I finally hear a rattling sound escape his lips. His chest is moving up and down again and air I didn't know I had been holding, escapes through my mouth. I quickly turn around towards the machinery Sensei readied for me and take the tube in my hands. The procedure doesn't take me too long but after it I feel drowned.

I sink into a chair, staring blankly at Leo's still body being moved up and down because of a machine, not because he can do it himself. I feel like crying but can't. I've been crying too much lately and my tears have dried out. I feel a warm furry paw on my shoulder and turn my head towards a gentle smile. Master Splinter's eyes are sad but with a glint of proudness in them which makes me give him a watery ghost of a smile in return.

Without any prompting I stand up and collapse into my father's arms, relishing the warm hug I so desperately need right now. I don't know when and I don't know for how long. Years, months, weeks? But eventually my father releases me into a soft bed, my mind and body relaxing at the thought of my eldest brother being fine now he's on life-support. Well, not fine. He's far from fine and needs constant supervision. But at least now I don't have to worry about him suddenly stopping to live. At least one concern less. I close my eyes and feel my thoughts leaving my body, joining my three dream-brothers into a world of calmness, joy and family.

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"Turtle"

I look up but there's nothing but speakers. Nothing but the dark room and my brother lying knocked out in a cage not too far away from me.

"As you've seen your brother is in quite a… predicament."

I growl an almost feral growl but stand my ground. This guy isn't getting to me this easily. If I can just try again to keep my calm and to not unintentionally hurt Mikey in the process.

"There's a removable floor under the table your brother is currently lying on. When it opens, fire will come out and burn everything within its reach."

He what?! I immediately get closer towards the thing keeping me from Mike and start throwing punches against it. He isn't going to hurt him. He isn't. And he won't burn. No fire. Me, the ticking time-bomb of the family with his _fiery_ passion, knows how dangerous that particular element can be. Without the control, it'll destroy everything you love.

"Keep trying, reptile, nothing is going to change the situation. On the other hand, it is you who can save the creatures life while he burns."

I don't want to, but still he catches my attention. I stop fighting and kicking and look into the direction the voice seems to come from. Save his life? Save it from what, because there can nothing be as bad as burning alive. Another time I silently thank every which entities for my brother still being asleep.

"You know, fire is a living entity in many ways. It feeds itself, reproduces, moves, it can die but also _breathes._ There are several ventilators inside his small cabin. If I turn them on, the smoke will be sucked away and your brother will be supplied with fresh oxygen. And this is where you'll come into the picture. You'll fight ten of my minions and for every one you floor, I'll push the button. Your brother's life is in your hands, Red, be careful with it."

There's some static going through the speakers before they turn of completely. As the dude already said, the floor panels were opening up. Suddenly the room is bright because of the orange flames. For a moment I cringe at the thought of my youngest and most innocent brother being devoured and hurt by his own colour. But the cringe soon turns into a look of absolute horror when Mikey starts to howl in pain because of the fire licking his arms, legs, shell and head. I inch closer towards him and look him into his bright blue eyes. He locks his with mine and I can see all the pain, fear and anguish going through them. I want to reassure him, hold him close, take his place, but I can't.

His eyes widen through his screams when a meaty hand grabs my shoulder, turns me around and punches me right in the face. The red angry burning I thought about earlier fills up my veins and clouds my head. I jump forward and fight like a raging animal. Every touch, every sound and every move is a reason for me to attack with the wild furry I didn't even know I possessed. It's like something else takes over my mind and there's nothing there anymore.

_The redness disappears and I stand in front of a locked door with behind it my brother, my eldest brother who I just hurt in the worst way possible. I cut him with his own katanna just because he pissed me of. We are only ten but that doesn't mean I can do this to him. I only got so angry because he excelled in the kata Master Splinter taught us and I didn't. We are best buddies, the top of the class. Me and Leo can almost do anything and this time he dared to be better than me. But hurting him, that wasn't what I meant to do._

"_Why do you always get so angry, Raph?" I stare up at my blue-clad brother who just got out of the infirmary with a bandaged right arm. I shrug and guiltily look down towards my feet. I can't control myself, I'm weak. "If you can control the fire inside that head of yours, you won't do things you come to regret later. I know that's difficult but you have to try." I smile a little at how easily Leo forgives me. He isn't mad. He gets how hard it is for me to keep myself together. _

"_I'll try Leo, I promise." A soft pad on my arm gives me the bit of courage I need. "I know you will, little brother. Focus and you'll get there. Focus on us, all of us. Focus."_

"_Focus Raph, Focus. You're hurting Mikey, Raph. Focus._

I blink a few times at the confusion. That wasn't part of the memory. Leo left after touching me on my arm and saying he knew I would try. He never mentioned to me I should focus. I look around. Men are lying at my feet, either dead or unconscious, I don't know. I don't really care either.

I feel dizzy and a nagging feeling is clenching my gut. There's something wrong but I don't know what. _Focus on us._ I swirl around, trying to find the voice, Leo's voice, but can't find anything but a small chamber made of plexiglass and filled up with smoke.

Mikey.

"No," I don't shout. I can't shout as my mouth is dry and my throat is squeezed together. "What did you do?" I whisper. Without even noticing I run towards the cell jamming my shoulder against one of the walls. I fall back however but try again and again. At one point I dislocate my shoulder and scream in agony, more for my brother than the pain in my arm.

"You did it, turtle. You killed your brother."

The ventilators are turned on and the room is cleared of all the smoke. The floor panels are long closed so no fire is searing at my poor baby brother anymore. I want to hurl at the sight in front of me though. His skin is a combination of red, black and blisters covering every inch of his back and even large parts of his cheeks and forehead. At some parts the skin had fallen of his legs and arms and the horrible look of utter and complete agony is still written clearly on his attacked face. The worst still is his still body though. His plastron isn't moving up and down and it's clear to me that Mikey, sweet little Mikey, isn't breathing at all.

"Your fault," booms through the ballroom.

And I drop to my knees and keep staring in front of me. My fault. Again. If I had just focused I could've saved him. If I just had listened. If I just had been a better brother. If it just had been me being stuck in there. Everyone but him.

**Okaaaaaaaaay, I have the next chapter already finished and ready to update so…. See ya next week!**

**Gets into her jet and flies, wait no! I don't have a jet. Takes her parents' car and grabs the wheel to, damn it no driver's license either! Grabs her bike and paddles away as hard as she can. BYE!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm sorry for the delay and all but it was in your own interest. This chapter was immensely difficult for me so I kept screwing it up. Eventually I reached out to TJHECTOR who is awesome at writing Raph and who helped me. So give her a big thank you and hate me for taking so long 8D. Anyways enjoy the chapter! And because it's Christmas break, that means much more updates so keep a look out for them.**

**Chapter 8: Rush**

The pain is so bad. It feels like hundreds of wolves are tearing me apart and every time I take a small glance at another one of Mikey's wounds, more skin is ripped off of my body. My heart is hammering inside my chest so hard I can't even feel the throbbing pain in my shoulder. I'm still pounding against the glass walls, trying to get to my already lost baby brother desperately just to make sure he's really gone and not still suffering. Just to see his face one more time. I'm afraid I won't be able to do that with my other brothers. My final hours are coming, I'm sure of it, I knew that all along.

"I wish Mikey would have been able to get out of this mess though," I whisper through harsh pants which slowly but steadily grow worse and worse at the point they almost sound like sobbing.

I sink to my knees and lie my head against the cool glass. The sound of Mikey's name drains every ounce of strength out of my body. I feel hot trails down my cheeks but I won't pay it any attention. I'm still weak. How could I ever think of myself as the muscle of the team when I couldn't even protect my own baby brother. I can't even reach him right now. Some ninja.

A soft hissing sound vibrates through my thoughts and gets me to lift my head up. Better meet my death with the little bit of honour and bravery I've still left. But instead of some of those stupid GI-Joes figures to come and kill me, there's the Italian dude not standing inside the ballroom but inside the cage. I can't help but glare when he inches closer to the still form on the table. How does that murderer deserve to get to touch my bro for a last time while I can't! I stand up and start pounding on the walls again, albeit half-heartedly. I'm spent.

"Now, that's not polite my dear animal friend. I'm here to help you," the smug man replies with an amused grin. "I'm here to save the brother you so easily killed."

It gets too much for me. Another blaze of red anger travels up and clouds my head. I won't let it take me completely though. The last time that happened I ended up with one brother less. Still I feel renewed adrenaline travel through my veins, readying me for another fight.

"You killed my brother," I hiss. "You promised me to keep him alive if I fought and still you murdered him!" I start shouting but the dude doesn't seem to be impressed.

"I told you if you would floor my men I would push the button. I never promised to keep your brother alive when you did. If you wouldn't have been so devoured by your own anger you would have noticed that with every man you took down, one ventilator would shut down, the button pushed you see? You could've saved your brother if you really had tried. He could be breathing if you would have been careful, observant. He could be alive if you wouldn't be his brother."

The last part was spoken with so much venom and hatred I start to feel sick. It was my fault? But I tried so hard. I still didn't do enough! I messed up and killed! I'm a murderer of not only bad guys but of my own flesh and blood!

My breathing becomes irregular again but I refuse to calm down. I did this, I did this I did this, I DID THIS!

_What would Mikey think? _A soft and gentle voice. _He wouldn't be angry, he understands. He wouldn't want you to give up. _I've no idea where it comes from. _Don't you think he would just be glad to be out of pain? _But it is strangely comforting. Yes, he's out of pain. Finally. He didn't have to suffer the faith he was afraid for. And although I wasn't there physically, Mikey new I fought for him till the end. He's seen it.

"You get a choice, turtle," The gentle voice which just spoke to me is quickly overpowered by the rough accented one from inside the cage. I watch him intently when he moves closer to my brother with a needle in his hand. "Inside this syringe I have adrenaline. I can use it to start your brother's heart again. After that it is to you what will happen with him."

I follow the life-liquid with my eyes and for a small second there is this desire to hear Mikey's voice again, to see him happy and smiling and to have him back by my side. But I won't do it. He won't wake up smiling he'll scream out of immense pain. I can't do that to him, not because of my own selfishness.

I shake my head and for the first time since we are here, I see the man frown. His darkened features slump a little while his eyes blaze. I smirk a bit to myself. Maybe I finally managed to break through his plans? No. Not even close.

The needle is coming closer to my brother's neck and I can only shout "Liar!" before the skin breaks and the syringe is emptied. It doesn't take long for my baby bro to move after that and with the first screams, the Italian dude walks off with his hands over his ears.

"And if you wanted to know," he shouts over the screams, "my name is Raphael. The one who saved your brother's life." With that he leaves.

The Plexiglas walls come down, finally, and I run towards my younger brother, pushing away the anguish I felt earlier. The anguish of having killed my brother, the anguish of feeling alone and the anguish of sharing my name with that maniac. All there is now is Mikey who I need to get out of pain as soon as I can.

When I'm close enough I let my eyes quickly scan over the bloodied and blistered body that should somehow be my brother. I want to lift him up, comfort him, but there is no way of holding him like this. Eventually I let one arm slide under my baby brother's head so his back and arms won't touch the unforgiving cold metal of the table anymore. It only causes more shrieks and choked screams though.

"Shhhhh," I whisper in his ear. "It's okay, you will be okay I promise. Just hold on baby bro please."

I wonder why he hasn't fallen into unconsciousness again and quickly remind myself of the adrenaline which must be pumping through his heart. I know even pressure points won't help him right now. His skin, his muscle, his nerves, everything is probably heavily damaged. No way he'll come back from this. In the best case he'll live with severe scarring and several issues with moving for the rest of his life. This isn't better, this isn't better at all. And still that lingering feeling of happiness won't leave my conscience. The euphoria of seeing my brother awake and alive. That damn selfishness not leaving me alone.

The screaming quiets down so I start to talk again. "That's it you're doing good. Come back to yourself Mike, forget the pain. I'm here, I'm here," I whisper soothingly.

Two eyes try to open up but only one succeeds. The right side of his face is burned heavily and his eye is so swollen and blistered he can't open it the right way. His left one gives me a glimpse of baby blue though.

"Hey," I say but he doesn't reply. Another set of whimpers comes from his mouth and he quickly shuts his eye again. He's in so much pain. His small body starts shaking terribly and I know he's going into shock. I try and levitate him so he won't hurt so much but it only causes him to scream at the sudden movements and pain.

"If you want doctors to take care of him, place him on the brancard."

I only move my head around slightly, not wanting to jostle my brother in any way. The voice behind me is a lady's. I can see black hair being held by a pony tail. A few strands are hanging in front of a pale but beautiful face. Her red lips and black eyes stand out on her light skin and if I would've cared, I would notice how cute and young she looks. Her voice is like honey and sounds nice, sweet, but I'm not trusting anyone in here. There's a weird kind of yellow bed on wheels but it doesn't really look like a brancard. There's some sort of fluid instead of blankets and a mattress. It looks like gelatin to me.

"I promise he'll be alright. We'll bring him back to you. Come I'll help."

I quickly shield Mikey with my body, not letting her anywhere close. They aren't getting him. I won't give him up again.

Some choked breaths make me turn my head back to my youngest brother whose upper body is still held up by me in the air. It looks like he's crying in between all the sounds of pain, which is pulling at my heart strings. I hate it when he cries. Often I would go to rough on him when we were younger and even then I always hated it when the little guy would cry. I'm supposed to protect him!

"He's going into shock," the voice mumbles behind me. "We can help him. If we don't, he'll die again."

I know he will. I'm just not sure what he would want me to do now. Pushing him into the enemy's arms and having him probably die again but this time without his older brother? Or keep him here, trying to comfort him but having him die for a second time while being in the most horrible pain. My logic tells me to give Mikey to them. It will be the only way he might survive. But on the other hand my gut squeezes together at the thought of leaving him with them. It tells me something is off.

My brother is getting quieter and his body stops moving so much. I'm not sure if he's settling down or getting worse but I don't think I want to know. The question now is, what would Mikey do? The answer isn't that difficult. He would go on as long as there was still a brother he needed to go on for.

"Never give up," I whisper to myself, not to Mikey, before turning my head upwards. "I'm going with him. I'm the only one who touches him, no one else. And everything that's administered to him will first be given to me. Ya hear me?"

The lady merely nods and gives me a smile I can't see a fake note in. It doesn't eliminate the wariness I feel inside though. Why would they help us when it's their fault this happened in the first place?

"Please place him on the brancard. The substance on it will cool his burns and help with his healing." She takes a few steps backwards, giving me the room I need to relax a bit. I take Mikey in my arms which makes him spring back to life. He struggles weakly in my hold which only makes me sigh in relief. He's still here. I mumble a quiet 'I'm sorry' when I lift him off the table, bridal style, and place him on the brancard as fast as I can.

The strange gelatin immediately soaks the body up which makes me panic. I try to keep Mikey's head above the stuff and look at the lady.

"It's okay, he can still breathe. His head will not disappear underneath it, I promise."

I let go slowly and see how Mike's nose, mouth and eyes stay on the surface. His features relax considerably and I can't help but smile at that. This stuff really works after all. The gelatin is a strange yellow which makes my brother's body look pale. It also takes the edge off of the worst of his wounds which I'm grateful for.

"If you would be so kind to follow me," the girl next to me whispers. "I'll bring you out of here."

She leaves me to push my younger brother out, the way I had requested. I follow without too much hesitation.

**Another very good thing about Christmas holidays is Serious Request! A group of 3 radio dj's lock themselves up and eat nothing but very nasty shakes with vegetables and stuff while they broadcast 24/7 for exactly a whole week. They do this to raise money for charity, in this case the Red Cross who helps girls in conflict areas who are raped and can't deal with the consequences. They are kept safe from their attackers and are healed emotionally and physically. A very good cause of course so please, everyone who wants to try (I don't really know if this will work) pull out your phone and send a friendly or funny text to the number 3333. It'll only cost you 0.90 cents (if it works again otherwise it'll cost you nothing). Can you guys try it for me? It'll help innocent girls a great deal. I've sent my fair share (exactly 45 at this moment and I'm going for a hundred) already so come on! Hands off our girls!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys, missed me? Hope you all like this chapter just before the new year starts. I don't think I'll have a lot of time to update anything tomorrow so here's a HAPPY NEW YEAR for everyone **

**And on with the story.**

**Chapter 9: A Man**

_Everything is going according to plan._ The man shrugs off his black vest, revealing a light blue t-shirt with red edges on the rims of the sleeves and the V-neck. His black hair is supplied with a fresh layer of oil but not before a few red specks are carefully washed off of his lightly tanned palms and fingers. While steady paces quickly bring him towards his desk, a grim smile slowly sprouts on his face. A normal man, some would say. A handsome one, some might think. But what you can see does not say anything about this man. What goes deeper are his deeds and his thoughts that are as dark and black as the jeans he is still wearing.

_After he watches the Orange one die for a second time he will beg me for his own death. I will not grant it though. He'll live. I'll make sure he'll live continuously in his own nightmares for as long as I might stretch his pathetic life. He'll pay._

How did this happen? Before one can judge a man on his deeds, they will need to learn about the history of the person in question. A harsh history in this case. One that the man feels better to burry as far and deep within himself as he possibly can. It's the story about his younger brother.

"_Hey Raph, you're going again?"_

"_Yeah, see ya." _

_The brothers were growing apart ever since Raphael, the eldest of the two, decided to join the ninja clan known as the Foot. His martial arts sensei told him he had potential and initiated him with the clan. Raphael had always been an ambitious child, especially when it came to fighting. He loved the arts but the rules surrounding the sports when he would participate in a competition were a restraint to his wild and violent nature. A free-for-all while fighting the 'green menace' as they were so affectionately called, sounded good to him. _

_His little brother, Carlo, was different in many ways. He was only fourteen at that time which made him three years younger than Raphael. He wasn't only younger but also more patient and passive. He liked to have a little fun from time to time and didn't have a care in the world. Except for his brother's nightly outings. _

_The brothers have had nothing but fights about the matter, one becoming so bad that Raphael had slapped Carlo across the face. That was three days before. What really bothered Carlo is that, sure Raphael had apologized, but that he didn't stop fighting on the streets. _

"_Why would you? It's dangerous out there, you could end up dead! You had to carry one of your mates home last night, didn't you? Your hands and face were all covered in someone else's blood, I've seen it!"_

_The larger boy turned around swiftly which caused Carlo to wince and take a step back. A lingering hand kept close to his face in case he would be hurt again. A clear sign of the distrust between the two. _

"_Have you been spying on me?"_

_There was no answer but Raphael knew already. For a second his face went red, his anger steadily growing. He shook it off, however, taking in the innocent face of his younger brother. The only person in his life he truly cared for. His face softened, as it did always when he looked into those blue eyes._

"_I'm going to be alright, okay? We need the money and these guys are paying good. I promise I ain't gonna do anything stupid," he added when Carlo showed a frown instead of the reassured smile Raphael hoped for. _

"_I gotta go back to you right? There ain't no way I'm leavin' ya to fend for yerself."_

_A small wink and a pat on the head earned Raphael a small grin and a laugh. _

"_Just watch yourself, stupid," Carlo muttered before he went back into their apartment, his elder brother not knowing that he was planning something. Because maybe Raphael was there to protect his little bro, but Carlo's mind was set on getting him back home safe and sound as well. A big mistake with a lot of consequences. _

The man, no longer completely dressed in black, opens one of the drawers in his desk and pulls out a small necklace together with an old notebook. The notebook is opened on the first page, a little Carlo smiling up at everyone who would look at the picture taken of him when he was eleven years old. The necklace has a small silver owl hanging on it. The eyes are made out of blue glass with a diamond shape, sparkling so much it always makes Raphael think of his own brother's beautiful eyes. He had given Carlo this necklace on the same day the picture was taken. His eleventh birthday. According to the younger boy it was his most prized possession.

The man growls at the memory and chucks the necklace somewhere where he doesn't have to look at it anymore. It isn't fair, according to him. Why would the stupid thing mean so much to his baby bro? Raphael can't even remember why he had chosen the owl instead of another animal. He just can't. Because he doesn't care? He hopes not but he cannot come up with another answer. He cares, but if he really did he wouldn't be sitting here. He knows that, but yet his hunger for revenge is too strong, the taste of it too sweet. It's the only thing he _can_ do, even with the knowledge that Carlo would never approve of his actions. When he came up with the plans, he tried to project the awful looks of disappointment Carlo would sent him. But he couldn't. He tried to feel ashamed off the misery he was going to put someone through; a child not much older than when Carlo died. He couldn't. The urge of having payback was too vicious. It still is. And now there is no going back. The only way for Raphael now is forward as his plan draws to an end. And end he knew he would face all along.

"He has paid, baby brother," the man speaks out loud, his eyes locking with the ones in the picture. "That red-masked monster had paid for what he did to you. By having a hand in the murder of his own younger brother."

And at that moment, the man let a tear slip. His story is clear. His deeds and emotions are too. And the verdict is there.

This man has lost everything. His family, his honour, his ninja-clan and his compassion. In that body, void of emotion and a soul, void of reason and sanity, the humanity inside is killed at last. This man is not a man anymore. The poison has run its course through the body and eliminated everything that made Raphael the human boy he once was. The older brother with a soft spot for his little one, the average student with a passion for the martial arts, a mind capable of love; all gone.

And this is what the poison of vengeance has done to the older one.

He takes a knife which sticks to the back of his notebook; the end of his notebook with the picture as it's beginning. The pages in between are filled with letters to his deceased baby brother Carlo.

"I told you I wouldn't let you fend for yerself. I told you I would go back to you."

With that the monster's throat is slit by his own hand, the small bit of passion in his last deed restoring humanity just before he bleeds out.

Seconds later a radio called in, informing the now dead man an escape has taken place.

**So yeah, uhm…. I don't know. Seriously, I don't know where this came from. The idea was to write another chapter in Raphie's point of view. Something cute. I even had Disney music going for the cuteness! Then this happened. Is it good or too much? Please let me know.**

**What I do wanna tell ya is that this is by far the most important chapter in the story. The whole reason of why this story is called the way it is called. And I know some of you want to kill me for Raph not having a go at the monster but hey, my story :p**

**I'm going to bed now and think about what went wrong tonight, see ya!**


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